When I awoke this morning, I had a general idea for my day. After a trip to the gym and cooking lunch, I settled onto the sofa to read for a bit, for an hour, I had planned.
I had started
In Pieces by Sally Field on the plane (per my usual) a couple weeks ago, but had stopped reading it after reaching the impact that Jocko had on her story. The book was closed; I wasn’t ready to continue.
Eight hours have passed since re-starting, and save a few minutes for a shower and a trip for water, I have only rearranged myself on the sofa, book in hand, not leaving.
The rainy day faded and as I walked the two blocks for water, I was only vaguely aware of the woman in the checkout line pressing into my back with a stick of butter. My attention was still with Sally Fields.
In writing this now, I cannot actually remember what I had wanted to accomplish today, just that my goals were surpassed by the need to continue walking in her words for a while longer, to see where I would find myself, and to see what might open in me while accompanying her.
I have admired Fields’ ability to act and her strength in character without thinking about the fortitude created in successful women by enduring childhoods and for many of us, the bonds with our mothers. The story (minus the successful movie-star, Hollywood, Malibu homes part) is likely one that a friend might have and if you are actively listening, she might allude to just a piece of it over a glass of wine, late at night, or subtly give a knowing nod while hearing another’s story.
A woman fighting to survive (
something), being or becoming someone’s (
something), all the while trying to recover that (
something) within that gets dim, shelved, or forgotten. There are many things that compelled me about her story and her writing, but perhaps most impactful was the courage she had to have
that conversation with her mother.
Through “In Pieces” we learn about the preparation Fields takes to become her characters and through her writing, she pulled me onto the sofa in the back, watching, waiting, holding my breath. I did not want to be anywhere else.
Finishing the day in gratitude.