The Truth About Mats and Dogs

It was an innocent request:  keep Lucy for 24 hours.  We both laughed nervously.  I had been able to successfully keep her kids alive for that length of time and now I was being entrusted with their dog.

I've been around Lucy numerous times.  "No problem," I said. "I'm glad to help."

It was around 1:30 Friday afternoon when I got the text:  "We're off.  The leash is on your doorknob and I had to use one of your pretty bowls for water since I forgot hers."

No problem.

When the clock neared 6:00, I started thinking about heading home and was glad for a solid reason to pull me out of work "early".  I stopped by Whole Foods on the way home for dinner and ended up with a smorgasboard of food that only assures the data analysts that I must be with child.  (I'm not but I had to fire someone and it was hard.  Ergo, I went for ALL the comfort food.)

Arriving home around 6:30, I had to go in search of Lucy in the house.  During those prolonged seconds, I thought of all the non dog-proofing and child-proofing in my house and had a moment of panic thinking "she's gone and I've only had her five hours".  [Foreshadowing.]

She was tucked away on my orange leather sofa (that I had lovingly covered with a spare white sheet*).  She barely looked up but when I said "outside" for the third time in the exaggerated way we Americans do when we think someone can't understand and is hard of hearing, she moved from the sofa to the backdoor and had a little jaunt around my tiny backyard.

Lucy takes a bee-line for the break in the fencing and I'm jogging to replace the board having, at my only other time of dog-sitting, let the dog out only to end up chasing her around a neighborhood in North Nashville.  (Chase = panicked sweaty run before the sun came up.)

I corralled her inside and she quickly pattered by the water (Emile Henry bowl?) to head straight for the nearest room I wasn't.

When I entered a room, she went into another.  When I entered that room, she left.  I had a flashback to dating, but mentally noted that nearly everyone would stay in the same room...most of the time.

Lucy and I were off to a cool start.

I was able to bribe her with bits of chicken but she wasn't interested in samosas.  She was however staying in the same room as I was while eating.  Progress?  I wasn't sure.

She wouldn't go outside before bed, instead staying on the sofa like a ten-year husband.  I went to bed.  "Fine," I thought.  I can't make you move.

Fast forward to morning.  At 5:30, she was interested to go out but she still hadn't entered my room by 7:30 and only raised her head slightly when I walked through the living room headed upstairs for clean clothes....and a PRESENT!  Friends, don't pick up anything with your bare hands until you're sure you know what it is or at a minimum, have your contacts in.  This was not the gift that brings good tidings.

I'll fast forward past the awkward call from her "mom" after I had to text her that I found blood on the white sheet but I wasn't sure of the origin.  (There's really no good way to say "Don't Panic, but I think your dog is bleeding from an unknown source but she won't let me near her so I'm not sure if it's serious.  Hope you're having a great time! Love you!")

So that's the story of how you can't teach an old dog new tricks.  I'm pretty sure she'll never ever ask me to keep Lucy again and if she does, I'm pretty sure I would say "no".

*Mistake