Dear A and E1*
I hope the day trip was great and there were no sunburns. I'm writing to you about the boat journey and while I could have sent a short SMS, I felt a duty to give you a little more background.
I think I now know what it's like to be in the washing machine with a pair of size 10 high-tops. While massaging for all the inner organs, I'm not sure this tide would make P*'s "Top 5 things to do in Ecuador".
We were 30 on a vessel rated for 25. It was cozy. The first mate handed out small black trash bags (optional) and then sat on the side of the boat holding on for the remainder of the journey.**
To whichever of you who told me last night to sleep [on the boat] like E2, I'm eternally grateful. We were both conked out for most of the journey like those tiny little worms that roll up in your hand. (A*, I'm counting on your Ohio childhood roots to explain that to our L.A. friends). Some fellow passengers might challenge my position as fetal but I would hastily disagree.
My recommendations are the following:
Lunch is a three course affair. Skip one and a half courses. You might be hungry but you don't want a full stomach for this chop.
Go with E2's suggestion to sit on the back and close to the right (starboard?). This might necessitate arguing with a man in slightly heated Spanish but ask P2 to do this for you and tip him well.
In this position you will be three degrees from the sun. Wear sunscreen and get used to all the passengers staring out at you over the horizon taking deep breaths. Remember this is not you and be grateful. Wear sunglasses.
Position the softest of you in the middle, cover up with extra clothing,curl up and go to sleep.
Barring this, take Dramamine or a few tequila shots.
Buena suerte
* Names edited for privacy (and are in no way related to the entertainment network)
**Foreshadowing
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